What a culture shock it has been for this mountain chick to be back in the big city.
Where are the mountains, the fresh air, the space and hiking every morning?
I left that back in Colorado, where I left part of myself, to go and collect sometime soon! Yes my first night back I was looking on expedia for flights back to Boulder Colorado, that's got to speak volumes of where my heart is.
These last 3 months have been a rollercoaster ride that still hasn't stopped, and I've loved every minute of it. I can safely say that I'm a better person for all the I have experinced and learnt. That spark for life has finally come back to me and is residing closer to the surface then ever before, it's expressing its self with every breathe, movement and decision I'm making. My eyes have sparkle to them, and my soul has shed and can now grow with each moment that passes, in short I am happy, happier then I can ever remember being.
I've falling in love and then out of love and then in love again, I've cried, hurt, felt peace, contentment, joy, been challeneged in many ways, made and lost friends, been confused, had real moments of clarity, felt lost and then found, felt adored and disliked, worked my ass off and have the scars to prove it, stop biting my nails, lived a truley rural life, yes that's right only two showers a week, butchered horses, cows and elk, watched a cow been shot and not dieing until the 4th shot to the head, learnt to build things, fix cars, work with wood, cook for 14+ people, build fires to keep warm every night, having my alarm clock being the wolves howling, lived in a tipee, a two stroey one at that, started drinking coffee and alcohol again, didn't quit smoking, saved a guy on a mountain, fashioned a stretcher, diagnosied wolves, ran an office, learnt about managment and how important it is communicate, been the bitch, the friend and councellor, been national geographics personal assitant aka their bitch, hurt and helped heal people, meet family, found my little brother, found home and so much more.
Found out that it is a lot easier in many ways to be in a long term relationship, I had forgotten what I attract when I'm single. My life has always challeneged me, especially when it comes to men. I fell in love with the way somebody felt about me, then realised and had to break it off and therefore hurt a wonderful man. I tried the good guy and reaslied I need a reformed bad boy, a man not a boy. I've already been part of a boys process of gowing into a man and now know that I don't want to do that again. Been shown two men that have a warrior spirit, and that could equal me in many ways. Been told that somebody loves me for who I am and for the way I think, not somebody who wants to change me. I've been thrown curve balls twice and allowed myself to be knocked off centre. Been shown what a soulful connection can be like, how easy it can be and how it can add to my happiness in the most uplifting way. My heart has been broken and then experinced opening the door to my secret garden without as much as a thought.
More is to come, as now I have to go and get ready to meet my friends for my birthday dinner. I have missed them, even though I wasn't in contact a lot with them, I hope they know that they are always in my heart and part of my experinces.
I do love you all madly
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