7 months waiting.....!

How can time pass by with such speed....!

It's been 7 months since I last graced these pages and so now I'm left with what update to give. You would think after 7 months I would have a cascade of thoughts, experiences, feelings and adventures that would pop into my head. Instead I'm sitting here in my house in Boulder racking my memory of what has happened over the last 7 months. One possibility is that so much has happened that I don't know where to start, what to say or convey.

It's been a roller coaster ride for much of it, there have been times of tears, laughter, resentment, joy, adventure, hardship, emotional jeopardy and lots and lots of honesty that has guided me on the path of growth. Sometimes I have wanted to stop, stop everything, get off this ride for a while and just lay in a meadow of sweet summer grass, getting lost in the cloud formation that glide by in the burning bright sky. To lay there and breathe, to soak up the suns warmth and life filling rays. To say I've had enough of growing, I just want to be, whatever that truly means...!
But of course that last for a few seconds and then my eyes light up with the sheer joy of being a live to once again remember who I truly am, and that takes those moments of hardship, of challenge, of testing, to make sure we aren't just fooling ourselves into believing something because it is easier then facing what is TRUTH.

I suppose the most meaningful thing that I can tell you is what I have learnt, and more importantly what lessons I have finally put into practise! There are times when I need my head being bashed up against the same lesson time and again for me to finally break through the darkness, the barriers that I personal have erected to ensure an illusion of safety. However that safety is just a cage with another name, a self imposed prison that tries to keep the world out, tries to keep living at bay for the un-necessary reason of fear and rejection. We create our own experiences, and we create our own emotions from a single thought, and from that thought we are then bombarded by years of conditioning, or a conditioned self that doesn't seem to realise that freedom is there in every moment, in ever situation and every breathe. That we are free to choose, choose everything, and that means choose our perception and realise that most of what comes into our lives is some sort of self manifestation either created via the subconscious of this life or of another. There lies the freedom that is there for all to take, expand and dive into. It's like a still majestic lake on a hot summers day beckoning to be dove into, to quench our thirst, restore balance to our aching, hot souls and soak us in stillness that only freedom provides, not flitting freedom, but the freedom that our spirits know, that is soothing beyond words, that is all inclusive and expansive.

My mind wonders to other places, lands, self created worlds and starring outside my window. I take that as I cue to pick this up when I have something to say that just can't be held in and needs to explode onto the page.

Until then my friends I bid you farewell, and fare flight in the skies you truly abide in, and I leave you with a question, what is freedom to you?

Yours always
Andrethia